8 Ways to Get Your Spark Back
Early in a relationship, emotions can hide differences. However, after getting together, couples often discover that the partner is not what he or she thought. We realize that our better half has different plans and dreams from us, some annoying flaws, or contrary to our ideas about certain things. So, it’s normal to argue, and to meet the needs of both of you, to “cut corners” and resolve relationship conflicts requires realignment.
So, check out these tips to not let the bickering take over and let the relationship spark again:
Understand that disagreement is not a disaster
Remember that no relationship is perfect. Also, many couples say they can turn conflict and problem solving into personal lessons. The difference is not necessarily a problem. They are our truth.
It is necessary to respect each other’s opinion.
For this, learning to “agree to disagree” and respect others’ right to their own opinion is crucial. Also, always remember that good, lasting relationships are built day by day, including the days of fighting.
Relationships require trust.
To deal with relationship conflict, first, it is essential to have relationship security. In this way, it is possible to talk openly with your partner, knowing that differences of opinion will not undermine the relationship or mutual affection. Additionally, it’s easier to be honest about your thoughts and feelings when you’re not afraid of the other person’s reaction.
Be willing to talk
When we disagree and are willing to accept what others are saying, we build more trust. Disagreement allows us to see and accept differences. We share what is honest about ourselves and develop greater solidarity with each other with ideas, feelings, desires and sensitivities. And we learn to accept ourselves and to recognize and respect our right to express our opinions.
Be clear about what you feel.
Use first-person sentences. Talk more about yourself and your feelings than what your partner is doing or thinking. Also, focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. This will give your partner a clearer understanding of your desires and what you expect from him.
Show that you are on the same team.
Listen carefully and with interest. Show that you understand and accept your partner’s feelings. Be quick to show empathy, not to point out flaws or belittle emotions.
Pay attention to feelings first, then to facts (ask yourself what is true or what the other is saying). This technique allows you to focus on your partner’s message and not get caught up in blame or criticism that might affect you.
Try these three steps.
Resolve disputes amicably with these three steps:
- Each describes the problem in one or two sentences.
- Analyze the problem as well as your concerns about your partner.
- Explore a range of solutions to your deepest concerns and issues at hand.
Learn from fights
Effectively listening to your partner and trying to reach consensus does more than prevent fights from becoming routine and taking over the relationship. Learning from fights will help you and your partner get to know and understand each other better.
Finally, in addition to following these tips, remember that sharing daily tasks, spending time with each other, and considering the relationship when planning are also fundamental to couple harmony and communication.